Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash
Small talk isn’t a popular concept. You will always hear people mention how much they dread it. The idea of getting on an elevator full of neighbours you don’t quite know is a literal nightmare. The problem with that is small-talk is a natural starting point. It’s how most (all?) relationships begin. If you keep on avoiding small talk, you are missing out on where those conversations might lead.
- Small Talk isn’t Just Small
Change your attitude about small-talk. If you are one of those who always complain about it or dread it, then flip your inner dialogue. Small talk is the start of most of your relationships, so start taking it more seriously.
- What’s The Worst That Can Happen?
If you can’t shake the dread of small-talk, ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” Think about it, can anything terrible happen during small talk? Even if you say something stupid or the other person is disinterested …who cares?
- Make a Game Out of It
A great way to make small-talk a little more fun is to challenge yourself. If you are at an event, set a goal to chat with X amount of new people. If you are at a smaller, more intimate affair, set goals based on how many new facts you can learn about each person.
- Make The First Move
This might seem silly when you are already nervous, but making the first move is an excellent way to build comfort when it comes to small talk. This way, you can ready yourself, choose the first thing you say, and feel more in control.
- Pretend You Are Talking to an Old Friend
Instead of worrying about the next person you have to small talk with, pretend they are old friends. You won’t know as much about these people but engage them with the same warmth, happiness, and openness that you would an old friend.
- Offer Your Name and Repeat Theirs
When you are meeting someone new, it’s essential to exchange your names. Instead of just offering yours, make sure to repeat theirs. Subconsciously there is nothing sweeter to a person’s ear than their name. Saying their name will also help you remember it.
- Have A Few Go-To Questions Ready
Just because it’s small talk doesn’t mean you can’t prepare. Always have a couple of go-to questions to ask people when a conversation lulls. It’s also helpful to have a few interesting stories or anecdotes in your back pocket.
- Look and Act Like You Enjoy It
If you are at an event and actively trying to network and meet people, you need to look like you are enjoying yourself. Even if you hate small talk, try to look open to meeting new people. When you get a chance to engage, do so pleasantly and not like some chore.
- Avoid Sensitive Topics
You never know a person’s beliefs, so try to steer clear of sensitive topics. Subjects like politics and religion aren’t always appropriate for small talk and could instantly blow up a conversation.
ACTIONABLE STEPS
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Stop complaining about small talk. You aren’t doing yourself any favours by continually complaining about small talk; you are just making things harder on yourself. |
Start practising more. Make it a goal to small talk with a new, previously unknown person each day. The more you do it, the easier it will get. |
Write down three go-to questions you can ask a person to keep small talk flowing. It would help if you also took some time to think of 3 anecdotes or stories that you can use when needed. |
To your language success
Michael
The Business English Communication’s Program
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